Being bored

Is being bored really all that necessary? Why do we avoid it? Is it because we are too afraid to face the realities of our minds?
Myself, I particularly like being bored and having nothing to do. It's a sign of affluence, which means I'm well off enough to the point I don't have to cram more and more into my schedule. When I'm bored, I have plenty to think about, I can resolve problems, and I can become a more mentally developed human. It helps to develop oneself and get a sense of who one really is. There's a lot of things we don't know about ourselves, and by cramming so much into life, there isn't much we can find out about ourselves. I hated being bored, until I faced what made me hate being bored. If you can't live with being bored, maybe you should take a deeper look into why you can't stand being bored, and if there are some deeper things to your hatred of boredom.

Do something new.

According to leading psychologists, the human brain hates change. Change also makes us happy. Such a terrible conundrum for us humans to experience. We only want to do what normally makes us happy, but it soon wears off. We are scared to try new things as well. One thing I decided to do myself is to do one new thing a month. I'm going out of my way to try something new just to have the small changes required to become happier.

What are you planning to do to increase your level of happiness?

Whom are you trying to make happy ?

Well? Who? We may say ourselves, our significant others, etc. but who are you really trying to make happy? We all have internal issues no matter what we say to others. They can stem from one of a million things that happened to us. A childhood trauma, an accident, or just any kind of horrific event. The event could have lasted five seconds or five years. No matter what it was it most likely affects your thinking and quality of life. Now, I have met people who were told things by there parents such as, "you'll never amount to anything" or "you can't do that no matter how hard you try." These same people want to do whatever they can to prove their parents wrong. So by running your own business to shove it in the face of your dad going to make you happy? No. Why? Because you did due to your trauma, not because you wanted to. The dream stopped being a dream once you wanted to prove someone else wrong. It stopped being your passion, and you just wanted to get rid of the pain. Now, that isn't to say that releasing your own album, becoming famous, or any of your dreams aren't valid. It's to say that doing them to prove someone else wrong is not fulfilling on an emotional level because you gave up your wants and desires to finish a  grudge that, well, no one else had an idea you were doing it. Robin Williams had the same problem. He had childhood trauma as a kid. His mother ignored him and well, he became famous for being funny because being funny was the only way he could get his mom to pay attention to him. This inability to live for himself caused severe depression. Humans are selfish creatures. To deny ourselves is to make ourselves miserable.
Make yourself happy first, then you can spread your happiness to others. Don't live for anyone but yourself.
That doesn't mean beat your wife because it makes you happy. For me, however, I like seeing some people smile. Therefore I make them smile because it makes me happy. Being selfish is what makes the world better. If Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Larry Page didn't want to be as rich as they possibly could, you wouldn't be using the computer/phone/tablet you're using to read this blog.
Being selfish can be a great asset to the world. Being greedy to the point you hurt others? Not so much. Help others with your selfishness.

What did you learn the last time you had a fight?

We all fight. It's a fact of life. No one can read anyone's mind and well, if we could life would be boring. So, the question I pose to you all is what did you learn from your last fight? When we get angry we expose our humanity and our fears. That's where our anger stems from. Sometimes these insecurities flare up and well, our passion comes our and we show what we feel deep down inside. Have you taken note of what made you tick? What about your friend or significant other? Fighting (not with fists) is a great way to get closer to someone whom you love. If you don't take advantage of each fight to learn, well you aren't doing a very good job of capitalizing on a great opportunity to grow with your significant other or your friends. Most of us have fears of being in conflict which stem from childhood trauma. I myself had my share of it, and I get uncomfortable sharing any emotion as that had negative consequences when I was younger. However, I am growing out of that as I realize my friends aren't bigger than me compared to when I was younger and my parents were, and I have complete control of the situation as long as I don't give it up. That realization helps one figure out that a fight isn't chaos. A fight is what you make of it. Once I realized why I was fighting with my best friend about 4 days ago, we talked out our differences  (a bit upset and angry) and learned more about each other. I asked her what she learned, and in turn I told her what I learned about her. We are more resolved to be closer to each other and we genuinely want to learn more about each other now to prevent future conflict. Could you do this with people in your life? If you were more empathetic and willing to learn in a fight would it help your relationships?

Are we happy?

Have you ever just thought about everything you have to determine whether or not you are truly happy? This past weekend I picked up things I didn't get when I moved out from my parents and honestly, I didn't miss anything of what I had. None of my possessions really made me happier, despite the fact that I really did want them at the time I bought them. Why? Why do things only make us happy for a while, then they become more nostalgic and pretty much an illusion of happiness. I moved out of a huge 3,000 square foot house and bought my own house, hardly over a third the size of my old one and I'm just as happy in it as I was in my old house. Stuff is just an illusion of wealth really. If I had nothing expectations would be so low anything would make me a little happier. Now that I have much more than nothing, how much more do I want now? What's the amount of money that will make me happy now?
Really, stuff is just a band-aid for your happiness. You have to discover yourself to be happy. You need to be willing to ask yourself deeper questions in order to find out who you are. Most people never will, because when they put on band-aids they ignore the underlying problem.
Do you use band-aids, or are you working on fixing what's underneath?

Are your friends worth the effort?

Hey everyone!
This is one thing I have on my mind. Are my friends worth having, and worth the effort I put into having relationships with them? I think its' a very valid question for anyone I am a friend with. Do i get as much fulfillment out of the relationship as the other side does, and if not, what is the imbalance?

Now claiming there is an imbalance definitely causes a big red flag for most people. Why should you have to get as much out of a relationship as your friend? Well let’s think about it. If you paid $25 for a small candy bar, is that fair? So how is it fair if my friend enjoys the tenants of our friendship? Obviously, a friendship isn’t a business relationship, but why do we see it like that? Why do we think business is always cold and friendship is always something warm? Having friends should provide benefits to us. Otherwise, it isn’t really of use. Now, benefits don’t have to be the same type.  You can have a jobless friend that provides great company, but you have to pay for some activities that friend cannot afford. If having the friend is worth it you’d be glad to pay. But if you didn’t enjoy every moment with the friend… why pay? Lots of people will refuse to correct this imbalance when it becomes less tangible. It’s easy to shoo away a friend who has no money because we think he or she is a bum. But a friend who is a complete asshole we keep because we admire some traits. Well, what traits are worth having? If you are miserable around that person but he or she inspires you, why waste time? You can admire the successes of people from afar. It’s quite easy to do. 

Now I have a friend where I am getting less and less emotional fulfillment out of, and it is becoming more and more expensive emotionally and financially. So what should my response be? Well, I figure it should be to wean down the time I spend with this friend. If I’m not getting anything out of it, why waste more resources on something that will never help me?

And so it begins

So,es have you ever thought to yourself about your life? You know, all deep and whatnot imagining what life would have been like if you did this or you knew that? Well me too, because I'm a human. So therefore I think. Congratulations to me I can do what you can do, and you can do what I can do. But that doesn't mean our thoughts aren't unique. I like to think about a lot of things I just have on my mind and maybe some things you wouldn't even think about. I am going to just share what happens in my head a bit with all of you, because well, why the hell not? The internet is here and well, people make money for exposing their humanity or idiocy in the case of many a youtubers. So that's what I'm set out to do in this blog. Who knows, maybe you might care? Maybe you will keep reading through all my posts? Maybe you'll just click off and think to yourself, "Well that was a waste of my time. I hope he dies." But let's see where this takes us.