Whom are you trying to make happy ?

Well? Who? We may say ourselves, our significant others, etc. but who are you really trying to make happy? We all have internal issues no matter what we say to others. They can stem from one of a million things that happened to us. A childhood trauma, an accident, or just any kind of horrific event. The event could have lasted five seconds or five years. No matter what it was it most likely affects your thinking and quality of life. Now, I have met people who were told things by there parents such as, "you'll never amount to anything" or "you can't do that no matter how hard you try." These same people want to do whatever they can to prove their parents wrong. So by running your own business to shove it in the face of your dad going to make you happy? No. Why? Because you did due to your trauma, not because you wanted to. The dream stopped being a dream once you wanted to prove someone else wrong. It stopped being your passion, and you just wanted to get rid of the pain. Now, that isn't to say that releasing your own album, becoming famous, or any of your dreams aren't valid. It's to say that doing them to prove someone else wrong is not fulfilling on an emotional level because you gave up your wants and desires to finish a  grudge that, well, no one else had an idea you were doing it. Robin Williams had the same problem. He had childhood trauma as a kid. His mother ignored him and well, he became famous for being funny because being funny was the only way he could get his mom to pay attention to him. This inability to live for himself caused severe depression. Humans are selfish creatures. To deny ourselves is to make ourselves miserable.
Make yourself happy first, then you can spread your happiness to others. Don't live for anyone but yourself.
That doesn't mean beat your wife because it makes you happy. For me, however, I like seeing some people smile. Therefore I make them smile because it makes me happy. Being selfish is what makes the world better. If Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Larry Page didn't want to be as rich as they possibly could, you wouldn't be using the computer/phone/tablet you're using to read this blog.
Being selfish can be a great asset to the world. Being greedy to the point you hurt others? Not so much. Help others with your selfishness.

What did you learn the last time you had a fight?

We all fight. It's a fact of life. No one can read anyone's mind and well, if we could life would be boring. So, the question I pose to you all is what did you learn from your last fight? When we get angry we expose our humanity and our fears. That's where our anger stems from. Sometimes these insecurities flare up and well, our passion comes our and we show what we feel deep down inside. Have you taken note of what made you tick? What about your friend or significant other? Fighting (not with fists) is a great way to get closer to someone whom you love. If you don't take advantage of each fight to learn, well you aren't doing a very good job of capitalizing on a great opportunity to grow with your significant other or your friends. Most of us have fears of being in conflict which stem from childhood trauma. I myself had my share of it, and I get uncomfortable sharing any emotion as that had negative consequences when I was younger. However, I am growing out of that as I realize my friends aren't bigger than me compared to when I was younger and my parents were, and I have complete control of the situation as long as I don't give it up. That realization helps one figure out that a fight isn't chaos. A fight is what you make of it. Once I realized why I was fighting with my best friend about 4 days ago, we talked out our differences  (a bit upset and angry) and learned more about each other. I asked her what she learned, and in turn I told her what I learned about her. We are more resolved to be closer to each other and we genuinely want to learn more about each other now to prevent future conflict. Could you do this with people in your life? If you were more empathetic and willing to learn in a fight would it help your relationships?

Are we happy?

Have you ever just thought about everything you have to determine whether or not you are truly happy? This past weekend I picked up things I didn't get when I moved out from my parents and honestly, I didn't miss anything of what I had. None of my possessions really made me happier, despite the fact that I really did want them at the time I bought them. Why? Why do things only make us happy for a while, then they become more nostalgic and pretty much an illusion of happiness. I moved out of a huge 3,000 square foot house and bought my own house, hardly over a third the size of my old one and I'm just as happy in it as I was in my old house. Stuff is just an illusion of wealth really. If I had nothing expectations would be so low anything would make me a little happier. Now that I have much more than nothing, how much more do I want now? What's the amount of money that will make me happy now?
Really, stuff is just a band-aid for your happiness. You have to discover yourself to be happy. You need to be willing to ask yourself deeper questions in order to find out who you are. Most people never will, because when they put on band-aids they ignore the underlying problem.
Do you use band-aids, or are you working on fixing what's underneath?